Midnight Maiden’s Ballad

‘A Silent Night’ by Matt-Starr on DeviantART.com

The ‘Midnight Maiden’s Ballad’ came from a free-verse poem of mine with the same name, inspired by lines that popped into my head and were threaded, ambiguously, together. With a traditional rhyme-scheme, I hope to emulate the traditional Ballad story-telling style, whilst also drawing on the fantasy of prose.
Items that irritated me: unintentional overuse of ‘-ight’ rhymes? ‘Instead was tasked’, or not to disturb rhythm there? ‘Dreamed’ would be better as ‘dreamt’, especially in the last stanza?
~

The maiden’s tears rolled in so fast,
Her tender heart throbbed to the sky,
If she thought her life to last,
She simply dreamed of beginning to die.

I saw her on the summer’s eve,
Where the grove touched lips with blue,
The deepest midnight, I do believe,
There where she plotted what to do

Now that our heavens had lost all sheen,
The glimmering stars robbed out of sight
By a curse- legendarily mean,
But one not lost on her perpetual might; 

‘The Guardian’, told in her robes,
One of election by her heart,
Had not herself chosen to go,
Instead tasked, lest the sky depart. 

I watched as the stories of her power
Unfolded into my wearied eyes;
It was in that very hour
That she completed all once surmised: 

In that one flash amongst the trees,
Incarnate flesh melted to flaming light;
As midnight had her all but seized,
My eyes revealed little more than night.

But, ‘lo! Above my head a pattern grew,
The tears of an angel, diamond-tight,
Had created exactly what she knew,
A string of stars spread throughout the night.

“Starlight silver, starlight bright,”
I heard her voice amongst the scene,
“That which dwells in me tonight,”
Images falling from a dream.

The row of trees bowed down to her,
The goddess standing in the dark,
Moonbeam smile and ozone curl,
Her face and palms held in a spark. 

The maiden’s tears rolled in so fast,
Her tender heart throbbed to the sky,
If she thought her life to last,
She simply dreamed of beginning to die.

~

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