Yesterday, I happened upon someone whom I hadn’t seen in months. There was no prearranged meeting, he just happened to turn up at an event I was doing. But, at the distance – our distance, in fact, that way we had so conjured – I was anticipating the moments when we would speak again with both delight and fear.
I had done him a great wrong once.
As much as I wanted to share my updates with him, I had no idea that he would even want to look at me. After all, I might well have not done so, had our positions been reversed.
So, I moved closer with my breath catching in my throat.
He turned those unreadable, turquoise eyes upon me. A thousand universes flittered through my mind. I would have this one chance to show him that I was so sorry (for words would do no good).
He grinned. We’ve known each other for six years and it felt as if the ice had broken again.
Although it, in retrospect, was shorter than I ever would have liked, we talked for a full conversation. After that, I felt lighter than I had in ages.
All my darkness had been blanched away by the light. It may be an odd metaphor, but, like being born again, I had emerged from the water, cold, but refreshed, and utterly good. After three months of doubt and furor, my hand has finally penetrated the invisible glass casing surrounding me from the better world.
Moreover, I had seen it in my disturbing prescience.
Yet, the fact I had guessed it was going to come no more dampened the feelings of relief; forgiveness is a wonderful thing – both for the forgiver and the forgiven – in that one mistake is struck through with a red pen of sorts, wiped from the mind, hearts and voices of those involved, and replaced with something new and clean: a different view.
This is what I love about being a Christian! To think that Jesus would take all the agony of our sins and make forgiveness a possibility is an incredible thought.