As is the way around birthday times, people were asking me what I wanted for my birthday (which is today, in case I didn’t make that clear enough).
IT IS MY BIRTHDAY
I maked this cake today ^_^
Now, to that question, I replied the same as I generally do: I don’t know. Other people’s birthdays are hard enough to buy for, and, in all honesty, I’m not a big birthday celebrator. It’s just another day in the life of the universe. It is a celebration of a single person, but not a celebration that others can appreciate as a community.
At least last year, though, I kind of had ideas for presents, even if they were little things or things that helped me with life, cooking, existence. :P But, I don’t know, last year was a weird year. I knew exactly what I wanted for my birthday – what I’d always wanted every year – but I knew I wouldn’t get what I’d wished, so any presents were just filling the space.
Yet, this year, I have not been so bothered. Regardless of having two exams on Monday and Tuesday (the two days before my birthday), and trying to focus on them, I also have not been interested in presents – or even in people knowing that it was a day on which I was born 20 years ago.
Maybe it’s because I don’t really get attached to material things. I mean, if you’re going to buy my dinner or a drink, you get a grin from me, but I don’t want chocolate or jewellery or makeup or clothes. I don’t want flashy items. I am, by nature, a pragmatic person; I like doing. Besides, as a spoilt only child, I’ve had enough of things.
And, sure, I’d love to say that I don’t want material gains because material things mean nothing to me – as in, there is Him whom is greater than worldly positions. Part of my desire to push away material possessions stems from my faith.
But I think it runs deeper than that, runs deeper than my convictions. Maybe I am just a person of simple interests. *cough* Unlikely. *cough*
My personal desires and levels of happiness in and of themselves have turned birthdays into less consequential days than they used to be. And I like that.
The point is, this year I have everything I’ve wanted – within reason. I know I have to wait and persevere for career and family advancements – but no material possessions, no magic changes in my academic scores, or even no free drinks or experiences can change the feelings of lightness I have been blessed to feel in the last few months. Most significantly (if we must move into specifics), I have someone who is happy for me to look after him, and him to look after me; I feel as if God has opened my eyes to my purpose again with a wonderful gentleman.
I may not be working at my optimal, yet, emotionally and physically and even mentally, I have been more than averagely well. That for me this year has been better than any present, gift, or experience. That for me is a birthday present that lasts beyond a single day, event, or box.